From Here On Out

Wow. Today was just crazy. .. Well it was and it wasn’t. I did sooo much today and it all went wayyyy better than I thought it would. To start, I had an appointment 2 hours away at 10:30 this morning that I was told would most likely be a grueling 5 hours appointment of poking and prodding at my fingers to see what they are capable of and what my sensation is like. Well, on the way there, a big chunk of wood fell off a trailer right into the middle of the highway. I didn’t see this due to the truck in-front of me. I was just changing lanes to get around said truck when I saw the piece of wood lined straight up with my front passenger wheel. I couldn’t avoid it and went right over it. I was not impressed and assumed my tire was either flat or going to be soon. Luckily I was 1 min from a Tims so I just pulled in there. I checked it over multiple times in disbelief. Somehow my car and my tire had been unaffected by the huge chunk of wood. For the rest of the trip I was kind of rattled but got even more frustrated when I just barely avoided a second huge chunk of wood half hour later. But I calmed down and thanked God for his hand of protection. I ended up making it there half hour early because traffic was sooo clear. Praise God. Then I proceeded to wait in the waiting room for an hour and a half. When they finally brought me in, I was treated with such respect and the therapist running the preliminary tests was very understanding of my sensitivity and limitations. Because my doctor I was seeing is my surgeon who just referred me to himself at a better specialized clinic to speed up time for me surgery, I had to do minimal preliminary tests. Apparently I scored off the charts so she just brought me to my surgeon after asking me to sign a few papers and giving me the run down on what this clinic will do for me. Then I was in with my surgeon/doctor for half hour. We discussed which days of the week would be best for surgery, where we will be amputating my finger, and where I will be doing my physio. Then he shook my hand and I was out the door. Bamn! Done. :) I was sooo happy. Then I drove home and had soo much free time on such a beautiful day that I decided to start staining my adirondack chairs. I go about a quarter of the way done and also managed to get a bit of a tan. Thank you Lord for the free time and the beautiful weather! Then, my mom made me some amazing chicken and salad. So Blessed. Then it was off to my weekly, night, English class for the second time. Wasn’t looking forward to it but it was all so basic and easy that I literally just laughed and joked around with the people around me who also weren’t paying attention because we all knew this stuff already. Only when there was group discussion or something knew to us did we stop. I’m actually surprised we/I didn’t get kicked out of the class but I’m sure the prof knew that we knew our stuff and didn’t care because we all answered any and all questions he asked us right. So the English class I was kind of dreading and the doctor appointment I was dreading both turned out amazing thanks to my Lord having his constant hand over me :) Then to top things off, on my way home from class, I stopped at the church for a late night piano session and learnt a new song. So some piano, some sun, and some work done. :) See what I did there?! ;) 

Well I really am looking forward for more days like today from here on out. Need to start having just a bit more faith in the fact that God really can take what looks like a bad situation and turn it into something beautiful. I love you Lord! 

keepsavingme:

is to live my life for the One who died for me

There’s something that I’ve been struggling with since grade 12 of high school that probably doesn’t make sense to struggle with but I do. In grade 12 philosophy class, I came up with a thesis that there is no such thing as an actual nothing. A conceptual nothing exists but not an actual nothing. I then managed to prove this thesis. Using this thesis, I then was able to prove the existence of an infinite being. This was a base level statement but as a Christian I had literally just proven to myself that God existed! It was such a fun paper to write but after it was done I almost felt like I didn’t need as much faith as I used to. As if I had destroyed part of the mystery for myself. This is the part of my faith that I struggle with. I know God is real but I feel like I need more faith…if that makes any sense?! In my head, if God is infinite, then He is capable of anything and everything..which to me has always kind of meant that all I now must do is believe/know that God exists and simply talk to Him while praying cause I know He’s there. I know there’s more to it, like worshiping and loving Him but I’m talking on a faith basis. I feel like my lack of faith, do to me feeling like I almost don’t need it as much, is hindering my walk with God in some way. It confuses me dearly because from what I can tell, most people just struggle trying to know in their hearts that God is even out there or real. And now here I am saying I have proven He is real and this hinders my walk with God. Can I be tooo sure about something? How do I have more faith in something I have fully convinced myself of and proven to myself is real? Or is my lack of or not lack of faith not the issue? …

I don’t know what to think, but I do love thinking on these types of issues and will most definitely continue to do so from here on out!